Today, I turn my evidently "more serious than expected" mind to religion.
Earlier this week my parents had a talk with me and my sister about their thoughts on relationships and their preferences on who we marry. Those of you not from the subcontinent will be looking blankly at the screen right now, but the brown people out there will tell you this is when parents will formally say: they do not want me to marry a Muslim. Now, as controversial as this topic is I want to explore it and express my own personal thoughts on it as it encompasses a great deal of topics. The idea of racism, tolerance, fear and on a more positive note the progression of human attitudes. The way that a South-Asian grandparent would read that sentence and draw understanding; but a teenage South-Asian will read it and draw disgust.
To begin, I want to somehow portray how common this is to teenagers with South-Asian backgrounds. Racism is a topic that has fouled history. It has always been present and has been the reason for wars, for slavery, for unimaginable suffering. How great society is today that I can meet people from any corner of the world everywhere in London, and none of them feel feared or different. However, we cannot deny the ignorance of the past. My mother moved here when she was very young and experienced bullying on a daily basis. Pathetic white kids who would graffiti her books with "National Front" and spit on her purely because of her tanned complexion. Moreover, there were black children in her class as well, who in her words "had it much worse". Racism was never exclusive to any particular region or time, though some were more thoroughly documented in the history books. In the sub-continent religion was how "different" was defined. People were, and still are, incredibly religious and proud of their own religion so for the most part inter-religion marriage was not tolerated. Nowadays this glorious world-tolerance has almost forced all of our views to broaden. As a Sri Lankan Catholic, I am no longer restricted to my own religion and race. However, Muslims are still off limits because of the frightful work of extremists.
I find it very hard to agree with this belief. The Islamic faith is something I have always admired. The dedication required is awe-inspiring, from the many daily prayers, to the traditions such as washing before entering mosques and facing Mecca while praying. To be a Muslim is to whole-heartedly immerse yourself in a powerful set of beliefs and truly "submit yourself". But the unfortunate truth is the side of this religion we see in the media is told through the extremists eyes. We see those who wish to unspeakable harm to others in the name of a misguided view of the Qur'an. And thus, members of this beautiful religion carry a taboo along with them. Many of my asian friends have had to end what they believed was Love, purely because of religion.
That's about as much as I wish to say about why this irrational view exists. What is important about this view is how I react to it. One thing I want to stress is that I am only forbid marriage. My parents accept and encourage me having friends from all nations and creeds. Thus, I can respect their wishes without at all agreeing with them. However, I can't help but think that will taint my view of friendship. Is it possible to think of people as "perfectly acceptable friends, but not worthy of anything more". I don't believe that everyone is a little bit racist (pause to sing Avenue Q song), but of course people aren't colour-blind. It is much easier to find common ground with those who have had a similar upbringing, hence, those who share your faith or culture.
My apologies for that last paragraph and it's sporadic and non-fluid nature. I don't know how to express my thoughts on this one. I know that I will carry on with my life as if the conversation never happened. I will not avoid or attempt to marry those who are not Sri Lankan/British Catholics based on my parent's views. Not a problem for me as it's never affected my life, but for many people like me it has made a great deal of difference in their relationships. More recently in Sri Lanka, Sinhalese/Tamil interracial couples have been met with violence. A couple my parents knew in England had death threats and rocks thrown through their windows. So this has all been more about protection than anything else.
So here is where I plead for your thoughts. What do you think of this topic? Can you think of anything comparable to what is a predominantly south-asian view? Please don't hesitate to leave comments.
My next blog entry will be far less controversial and much better written - I Promise!!
Till then,
Thanks for Reading,
Yours,
XmasRights
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